Wednesday, June 09, 2004

In the past few weeks, I've received some unusual e-mail. E-mail that would suggest I am luckier than I otherwise consider myself, depending upon how you look at it. I've included excerpts from the unusual messages, which I suspect as being from terrorist sources, which is serious, although I could just be paranoid. You decide...
It is my pleasure to write you after much considerations I can not be able to see you face to face at first. Being the first son of my father late prince mathew Konan from Zulu in republic of South Africa. My father was a limited liability cocoa and gold merchant in South Africa before his untimely death. After his business trip to Abidjan Cote d'Ivoire, to negociate on a cocoa business a week after he came mother by unknown assassins . which my mother died , instantly, but my father died after five days in hospital on that faithful afternoon. I didn't know that my father was going to leave me after I had lost my mother . But before he gave up the ghost , it was as if he know he was going to die . He my father,may his soul rest in perfect peace ) disclose to me that he deposited $ 18.5 ( eighteen million five hundred thousand dollars ) in security and safe deposit company in Abidjan , Cote d'Ivoire.

That the money was meant for his cocoa business he wanted to invest in Abidjan , Cote d'Ivoire through, according to my father he deposited the money in a trunk box, but declared it as ivory , and family belonging for the security reasons. He single handed me the key of the box and certificate of deposit and agreement certificate , and instructed me to seek for a foreign assistant who will help me to move it out from the security and safe deposit company for a life time investment abroad . Now , I have succeeded in locating the security and safe deposit company here in Abidjan , Cote d'Ivoire and also I confirmed the item with most honest and confidentiality. Now I am soliciting for your assistance to help me lift this money out from Abidjan to your account abroad so that we should invest it in any lucrative business in your country , strictly in your advice , because this is my only hope in life.

As I am awaiting anxiously to hear from you so that we can discuss the modalities of this transaction . I have mapped out for you 15% of the total fund which stands for your commission for presenting a foreign bank account where the money will be transferred to and more so you shall benefit 5% of the monthly total interest of the said venture.

Is "Zulu" a place? Heh. I'm not an expert. The grammar is particularly entertaining, although i don't expect perfection. This message now rests quietly in my Trash, gathering e-dust. If I help him move the money, will the assassins who killed his father on the above mentioned "faithful" day come after me? You're not laughing yet? Dare you mock my credibility, my vast influence? Read on...
I am Philip Kabali, Personal Assistant to President Charles Taylor, the former President of Liberia. As you may know he has recently stepped down from power and is presently in assylum in Nigeria. The purpose of my letter is to ask if you can render the assistance requested and to bring to bear my present position and the very need for true and solicited help with respect to Ex President Taylor. View these websites (1, 2) carefully. Your assistance is needed in the sense that some funds derived from Diamond sales during his tenure needs to be transferred/moved from its present location to a place or an account that you may hopefully provide or arrange. The reason for this is that plans are underway to confiscate not only his known fixed assets but also liquid assets. I have been mandated to seek and find a reliable person, based overseas, that is disposed in helping to secure some or all of the funds in question. If you are that person, do respond to this letter.

Unfortunately, I am too busy these days to get involved. The incentive in this letter, none, wasn't as appealing, but I consider all proposals, especially when they include the best interests of our higher powers, as the next message reveals...
My condition is really deteriorating and is quite obvious that I may not live for long still keeping much faith in the Lord, My late husband was killed during ethnic-religious clashes between Muslims and Christians in Kano,the Northern part of Nigeria.

We had a son who was also killed in the same cold war. My late husband was very wealthy and after his death, I inherited all his business Entitlement and wealth. My personal physician told me that I may not live for more than six months.

Consequent upon this, I have therefore decided to commit the bulk of this my entitlement to The Lord's Charity and Mission work in America, Europe, Asian and the entire Globe.

This in no doubt is a big task in Africa where there is strigent monetary regulations . I selected your Church after visiting the website for this purpose and prayed over it.

I am willing to donate the sum of $10,400,000.000 (TEN MILLION FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND)US Dollars to Hiv-Aids Patients Rehabilitation and Other Health related cases and Church/Ministry for the development of evangelism and also as aids for the less privileged in your area abroad.

Yes, worshippers. Welcome to the church of Bob. I think this offer will help us get off the ground. Coming soon! Finally, the most telling message...
On a routine inspection I discovered a dormant domiciliary account with a BAL. Of 36,000,000 (Thirty Six Million USD) on further discreet investigation, I also discovered that the account holder has long since passed away (dead) leaving no beneficiary tothe account. The bank will approve this money to any foreigner because the former operator of the a/c is a foreigner and from Iraq in particular and I am certainly sure that he is dead, and nobody will come again for the claim of this money A foreigner can only claim this money with legal claims to theaccount Holder; therefore I need your cooperation in this transaction.

I will provide the necessary information needed in order to claim this money, But you will need to open an account where this can be transferred. If interested send your private Telephone No. And Fax number including full details of the account to be used for the Deposit I wish for utmost confidentiality in handling this transaction as my job and the future of my family would be jeopardized if it were breached.

I want to assure you that the transaction is without risk if due process is followed accordingly. Finally,I will give you 25% for your corporation.

25% for my "corporation?" I'm not sure if the Church of Bob qualifies as such, yet. Actually, we're not making any profit whatsoever, but if you are so inclined to further the righteous cause, personal checks are accepted.

1 comment:

Julia said...

Hi Bob,
check out this website, concerning this kind of mails, and how to react on them. You will laugh a lot!